Better late than never

The peanut and the pumpkin patch.

Some leftover autumn pumpkin pics.

On Turning 40

This year was a big birthday, a life turning point. I’m not the type of person who keeps her age a secret. I don’t care if people know my age, and I don’t feel shame about my age. I think getting older is ok. So turning 40 was not a secret, nor was it a birthday I particularly felt I needed to celebrate in a big way. I told family and friends that I have gotten so much love and support and generosity with my wedding and the birth of the Peanut, that I did not need any more parties or presents. I celebrated with Mr. Right on the day, and then the next day both me and the Peanut were sick so we laid pretty low. Whoopee! We are Party People.

Being the overly introspective type, nonetheless, this landmark birthday does give me pause. What does it mean to turn 40? What does it mean to move into this new decade? I didn’t want to let this one go by without a good ponder. And my dear friend Tina feels like I am some sort of trailblazer as I am a year older than her to the week, and one year older as a momma. She called me last night to remind me that I had not yet shared my musings. I was so honored that she even wanted to hear them that I am trying to oblige her now.

I asked a few of my personal trailblazers: how was or is the 40^th decade? And what was your favorite decade? I received the expected mix of answers, but almost all of them asserted that the 40s are a good decade, a year of coming into to your power as a woman, especially. I like that. By 40, you finally feel confident enough of yourself to be yourself. And to like yourself. And to know what you need and when you need it and then go and get it. I like all of this. I can see why it would be true.

I am a little sorry to leave my 30s behind though. The first 5 years of 30 were pretty good. I had an extremely fulfilling run as “Urban Artistic Single Woman” who was all hip and had all kinds of adventures and had freedom and a large community of friends and activities.. I miss my very sweet apartment, the 3^rd floor of a triple decker in Somerville, filled with sunshine and my artwork and my cat and my books. My time was my own – a concept I suppose you never appreciate until it’s gone. Then I met Mr. Right and oh my goodness, it has been a whirlwind ever since. I won’t bother tracking all the changes (most of which have been tracked in this blog), but let’s just say I’ve gone from “Urban Artistic Single Woman” to “Suburban Exhausted Working Mom Who Can Barely See Straight.” In some ways, all my childhood dreams have come true. And in some ways, the transition has been one of the two toughest times of my life. My world is definitely much smaller and much more chaotic. I also think becoming a new mom later in life has its advantages (maturity, gratitude, stability, lots of friends with help and advice) and some disadvantages (less stamina is a big one). So my age does have an impact on my parenting.

I’ve always envisioned my 45 year old self as this wise person who looks back in time at me and smiles, both a little ruefully at all the flailing about I do, but also with encouragement. That it will turn out OK, that I’m doing fine, that it will be fine in 10 years … now 5 years. She looks calm and has found the place where I need to be. So now I’m that much closer to finding her, even if I feel like I’m a bit frayed around the edges these days. So yes, 40 is just fine with me.

We Liked the Fingerlakes

When a state has New York City, the big city tends to drown out anything else in range. So we had no idea how much fun we could have in the Fingerlakes. Every day was packed! The Peanut's two favorite activities seemed to be the pool and visiting a goat farm. She was having paroxsms of joy at both places. The rest of us really loved the waterfalls, the "gorgeous gorges" and eating LOTS of ice cream. I loved being able to hike UNDER waterfalls and swim right up to them. How cool is that! Literally very cool, it turns out.

The Little Things

Watching this makes me endlessly happy.

Summer Fun Must Do List

This list is going on the fridge and to be monitored carefully! The summer goes by too fast and I want to make sure I actually have fun.

• Go to an ice cream stand and eat the ice cream outside and having it drip down my arm

• At least 2 beach days where we have time to swim, walk, read, snooze and build sand castles (ie just a walk doesn’t cut it)
• Cooking things on an outdoor fire, most importantly, smores (will do this on vacation)
• Going to the local pool
• Take Peanut to local baby pool
• Playing in the backyard pool from grocery store (already did this, yay!)
• Eating popsicles in the backyard (already did this, yay!)
• Making ice cream with the kids (have them create a crazy flavor)
• Lobster on the backyard porch at mom and dad’s (coming up, yay!)
• Fireworks! (could we do this on vacation or in New Hampshire on a weekend?)
• Walden Pond at least one time where I can swim!
• Go out to eat at a restaurant where we sit outside and have drinks
• Go for a boat/kayak ride (we can plan to do this on vacation, but maybe also in our town)
• Eat watermelon outside
• Eat cherries outside
• Water balloon fight/squirt gun fight
• Go pick fruit somewhere
• Trip to secret New Hampshire swimming hole? (this one is as little more ambitious as it is a weekend away)
• See some fireflies (probably on vacation)

She doesn't smash the cake so the video is mostly worth watching for her very serious expression. Hope you enjoy.

Happy Birthday Little Peanut!

Grandma made a butterfly cake and a MILLION cupcakes. Thanks, Grandma!!!!

We had quite a day. We crossed our fingers that the rain would hold off so we could play in the backyard, but it was not to be. We moved everything inside and managed to squish far too many people in our house. The Peanut played with all the kids and we all enjoyed her new toys and books. We were celebrating her birthday but also our survival of our first year as new parent and whew, what a year it was. I'll try and post the happy birthday video later but for now we thought you'd like to see a few pictures of the birthday girl.

She was a very dainty cake eater ... no cake smashing for this princess. It was so great to see all of our lovely friends and family who were able to make it out to celebrate.

Mother's Day

A year of firsts ... and here's

my first mothers day. The peanut had a wonderful dress, courtesy of Grandma. Having such a cute peanut is really like having a dolly some days.

Things we love at 9 months

Food: Gracie loves any orange food … squash, carrots, sweet potatoes. However, she seems to be tiring of baby food in general and would rather feed herself. She LOVES puffs and cheerios and would happily eat nothing but those. We like the squeezable baby food from HappyBaby for car trips and on the go -- no spoon needed and you just put the lid back on! She still loves to nurse, gets that totally blissed out look on her face as she first connects. Ahhhhh. Toys: Balls in any form … small balls and large beach balls or exercise balls. She thinks they are great. Empty water bottles, 2 liter bottles for the music they make. Empty coffee cans are great for the noise they make when you roll them on the floor. She was super into a plastic drinking cup we had for use in the bath. Pretty much any of her "real" toys aren't as exciting as these toys. She does love her bird house from Auntie Sue, the velcro part especially. She likes her toys but doesn't play with any particular toy a lot; she kinda cycles through. She doesn't have a lovie yet that she really responds to. When she nurses, she'll hold onto something for a minute or two and then reach over and drop it very casually on the floor. Books: Her favorite books right now involve interactive elements, like textures or doors to open or peekaboo! She likes one with peekaboos on every page and a mirror at the end -- she always kisses the mirror at the end. I'm not sure what that is about. She's big into kissing in general these days. Kissing meaning she grabs your face and licks you. According to her daycare providers, she grabs other babies as they toddle by, pulls them down and proceeds to lick their heads. The daycare providers say her toddler friends think its fun.Mr. Right is not happy about this. Clothes: We vacillate between 9-12 months clothing. I struggle with daycare outfits. My favorite clothes are cotton onesie type tops (with snaps) and matching pants. Things that come in sets make the whole matching thing so much simpler. I don't like sending her to daycare in dresses and tights -- too uncomfortable. And she has several pairs of baby jeans and baby overalls, but they just are a little too stiff for a baby who is trying to crawl everywhere. I'm not sure I get the baby overalls concept -- I think it was a big trend a few years back. Looking forward to trying out our convertible carseat. We also have a lot of baby gates to buy and install, not as excited for that.

Crawling and Turning and Teeth!

It's a milestone frenzy! Here's a photo of her ... scooting? crawling?? I've never looked so closely at our floors before. Mom calls her the new mop.

9 Months

Photo credit to Auntie Sue and her mad photo skills!

Age: 9 months!
Size and Shape: Definitely can't fit into the 6 months anymore and sometimes even 12 month sizes are a bit small. 17 1/2 pounds. She is definitely getting more hair and occasionally has bedhead which is endlessly amusing to me.

Eat: The peanut remains a fussy eater and sticks pretty close to the banana and orange vegetable spectrum. But she tends to like anything she can feed herself or sees me eating. Puffs are her favorite. And paper still is very popular.

Getting Around: She is good at turning in circles on her bum and moving around inch by inch this way. She can definitely move several feet pretty quickly when I look away for a second, but she is still not fully mobile. She likes to crawl underneath tables and then get kinda stuck.

New People: She is getting more comfortable with new people as long as she has time to adjust first. She still is pretty friendly with anyone as long as she is feeling secure.

Best moment this week: We had a lot of fun with my sister visiting from Pittsburgh. It was great to show her the Ipswich Bird Sanctuary, and she was really awesome about taking the Peanut early in the morning so I could sleep in a little.

Worst moment this week: Being in the emergency room because she was covered in hives. It was awful to see your perfect baby looking so awful, even though she was pretty cheerful through the whole thing. We now know she is allergic to penicillin (assuming they identified this correctly). I hope it isn't the first of many er visits ... although Mr. Right says don't count on it.

What I miss: When you don't have a kid, you can budget out your time off of work. It is strange to give up so many of your vacation/sick days for her. Of course it's worth it and we've had some fun playtime, but I wonder if there will be much left for summer vacation.

What I am looking forward to: People say she will sleep through the night at some point ... when?

Weekly Wisdom: Trying to learn the "sweetness of doing nothing." Learning to just sit and play with her and enjoy this time that is going so fast.