Mother's Day

A year of firsts ... and here's

my first mothers day. The peanut had a wonderful dress, courtesy of Grandma. Having such a cute peanut is really like having a dolly some days.

Things we love at 9 months

Food: Gracie loves any orange food … squash, carrots, sweet potatoes. However, she seems to be tiring of baby food in general and would rather feed herself. She LOVES puffs and cheerios and would happily eat nothing but those. We like the squeezable baby food from HappyBaby for car trips and on the go -- no spoon needed and you just put the lid back on! She still loves to nurse, gets that totally blissed out look on her face as she first connects. Ahhhhh. Toys: Balls in any form … small balls and large beach balls or exercise balls. She thinks they are great. Empty water bottles, 2 liter bottles for the music they make. Empty coffee cans are great for the noise they make when you roll them on the floor. She was super into a plastic drinking cup we had for use in the bath. Pretty much any of her "real" toys aren't as exciting as these toys. She does love her bird house from Auntie Sue, the velcro part especially. She likes her toys but doesn't play with any particular toy a lot; she kinda cycles through. She doesn't have a lovie yet that she really responds to. When she nurses, she'll hold onto something for a minute or two and then reach over and drop it very casually on the floor. Books: Her favorite books right now involve interactive elements, like textures or doors to open or peekaboo! She likes one with peekaboos on every page and a mirror at the end -- she always kisses the mirror at the end. I'm not sure what that is about. She's big into kissing in general these days. Kissing meaning she grabs your face and licks you. According to her daycare providers, she grabs other babies as they toddle by, pulls them down and proceeds to lick their heads. The daycare providers say her toddler friends think its fun.Mr. Right is not happy about this. Clothes: We vacillate between 9-12 months clothing. I struggle with daycare outfits. My favorite clothes are cotton onesie type tops (with snaps) and matching pants. Things that come in sets make the whole matching thing so much simpler. I don't like sending her to daycare in dresses and tights -- too uncomfortable. And she has several pairs of baby jeans and baby overalls, but they just are a little too stiff for a baby who is trying to crawl everywhere. I'm not sure I get the baby overalls concept -- I think it was a big trend a few years back. Looking forward to trying out our convertible carseat. We also have a lot of baby gates to buy and install, not as excited for that.

Crawling and Turning and Teeth!

It's a milestone frenzy! Here's a photo of her ... scooting? crawling?? I've never looked so closely at our floors before. Mom calls her the new mop.

9 Months

Photo credit to Auntie Sue and her mad photo skills!

Age: 9 months!
Size and Shape: Definitely can't fit into the 6 months anymore and sometimes even 12 month sizes are a bit small. 17 1/2 pounds. She is definitely getting more hair and occasionally has bedhead which is endlessly amusing to me.

Eat: The peanut remains a fussy eater and sticks pretty close to the banana and orange vegetable spectrum. But she tends to like anything she can feed herself or sees me eating. Puffs are her favorite. And paper still is very popular.

Getting Around: She is good at turning in circles on her bum and moving around inch by inch this way. She can definitely move several feet pretty quickly when I look away for a second, but she is still not fully mobile. She likes to crawl underneath tables and then get kinda stuck.

New People: She is getting more comfortable with new people as long as she has time to adjust first. She still is pretty friendly with anyone as long as she is feeling secure.

Best moment this week: We had a lot of fun with my sister visiting from Pittsburgh. It was great to show her the Ipswich Bird Sanctuary, and she was really awesome about taking the Peanut early in the morning so I could sleep in a little.

Worst moment this week: Being in the emergency room because she was covered in hives. It was awful to see your perfect baby looking so awful, even though she was pretty cheerful through the whole thing. We now know she is allergic to penicillin (assuming they identified this correctly). I hope it isn't the first of many er visits ... although Mr. Right says don't count on it.

What I miss: When you don't have a kid, you can budget out your time off of work. It is strange to give up so many of your vacation/sick days for her. Of course it's worth it and we've had some fun playtime, but I wonder if there will be much left for summer vacation.

What I am looking forward to: People say she will sleep through the night at some point ... when?

Weekly Wisdom: Trying to learn the "sweetness of doing nothing." Learning to just sit and play with her and enjoy this time that is going so fast.

Happy Valentine's Day!

At daycare they told us to wear red. So we did. We did a better job than last week on pajama day when we did not wear pajamas because mom didn't get the memo. Sigh. We'll get on top of things one of these days.

Delicious delicious paper

It's definitely getting more challenging to take the monthly photo as the Peanut has discovered she likes to eat paper and in general just has become very curious about everything. We did our best. But next month I think we'll have to make a sign out of prunes or something. She won't eat those.

8 Months Old!

Age: 8 months!

Size and Shape: She has been right on target with her clothes -- wearing 6 month clothes at 6 months. Which, strangely, makes her on the small side. She's definitely getting longer -- her feet are starting to stretch through her 6-9 month pajamas so it looks like we're moving into the 9 month clothing sooner than I thought. But she's definitely not got the long legs that her brother and sister have, so I don't think she'll be a six footer.

Eat: She likes her food but is not an adventurous eater, unless you call eating paper/floor lint adventuresome. On a spoon, she mostly likes bananas, avocados, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, and cereal. I am baffled that she does not like yogurt much. And I can never tell if she's going to eat one bite and done or want two jars of food, so it's always a guess as to how much to make/open. When she is feeding herself though, she happily eats everything in sight, including her daycare write ups and any stray bit of thing she can dig up that I later find in her mouth.

Getting Around: Still not crawling but occasionally she'll inch toward something. She seems much more interested in standing, but is not pulling herself up yet. She is definitely heavier -- even in the carriers she is awfully heavy now.

New People: She's adjusting to some new daycare people. She hung out with John during the superbowl but was perplexed by his beard. Doing better with "stranger danger" but does NOT like it when you walk out of the room. She watches you very carefully to make sure you are still there. And if she is sitting in front of you while playing, she will reach behind to make sure all is well. She will play independently for a while and then turn around and want a hug, and then go back to playing again. It's very sweet.

Best moment this week: I love it when she says ma ma ma ma even though I'm not sure if she knows that is me. Also, I found out that one of my best friends is pregnant! Yay!

Worst moment this week: When she threw up all over me on Monday. We all had some sort of flu and I was thinking she didn't get it and then, oh, yes she did.

What I miss: I do love seeing the newborn infants at the baby café and how teeny tiny they are. But I love the age she is at now: so interactive!

What I am looking forward to: When she says "ma ma" about me! I'm not sure I'm ready for her to be mobile -- I know things are harder then. We are trying to baby proof now.

Weekly Wisdom: Trying to continue to "make friends with the moment."

Early Valentine's Day Prize from Daddy

It was a very delicious cookie. Thanks Dad!

Peanut Waves Away Post-Nap Paparazzi

Please, no photos at this time.

The Holiday Newsletter I Never Sent Because My Brain Melted

This post inspired by my dear friend Susan in NJ, who resolved to write one blog post per year. In my previous life, I manged to send out an annual newsletter. This will have to do for this year (and yes, I know I'm a little late for the holiday).

Dear friends and family,

Here is where I attempt to summarize an entire year in the life … and this was one was a doozey. But let’s start back in January.

We were settling into our new home in Melrose. This was the first time we’d set up a home together so it was a lot of work! We started sharing the news about my pregnancy right after the holidays. I was almost four months at that time, so I couldn’t hide it much longer anyhow. The first question most people ask is if that baby is a boy or a girl. I would have loved to have known but Baby wasn’t cooperating and kept its legs crossed, so my doctor told me we’d just find out in June. I had no idea that one possible answer was: “we wanted to know but couldn’t figure it out.” I was completely flummoxed by this. Let's just say that was the first of many flummoxes this year.

The estimated date of arrival of the Peanut was June 29. We planned a few small trips in the meantime knowing we wouldn’t get around much after that date. In February, Mr. Right and I did a house swap with a family in Montpelier, Vermont. Rob went to school in Castleton VT, so about once a year, he starts yearning for the green mountains. We had a great weekend exploring the town and cross country skiing on a maple sugaring farm.

Mr. Right travels a lot for work and this is cause for both pity and envy, depending on the trip and how hellacious his travel schedule is. When he said he had to go meet people in Santa Barbara, I said there was no way he was going without me. I cashed in some miles and joined him out to the West Coast and hit all my favorite haunts on the weekend before he actually had to do work. Our favorite part of the trip was taking him to Cold Spring Tavern, an old stagecoach stop in the Santa Barbara foothills, reached after a windy drive through the mountains with amazing ocean views. We also made it down to LA to see my dear friends Lia and Angela for a quick dinner before I flew back east.

After that trip, I was better able to settle in for the remainder of my pregnancy. I worked up until the end. On Thursday, June 10 I led an offsite event for work and went home feeling tired but otherwise normal. I went to bed and woke up with a shock at 1:00 am. My water had broken! 2.5 weeks early! The conversation that evening continued in this vein for a while longer. What! But! Ok! We can do this! But we have no diapers! Or car seat installed! It's Ok! Call the hospital! No, call the midwife! Ack! Finally we managed to pull our gear together and get into the car.

At 5 am on June 11, The Peanut was born. It took me a week or two just to believe she had really arrived. She was so little at 6 lbs and 11 oz and 19 inches. We both were expecting a large baby since we both are relatively tall people, but nope, she remains a petite little girl. I never knew having a baby could generate the mountains of pink clothing that have descended upon us.

As advertised, our life will never be the same again. All of the clichés, both positive and negative, are all true. You just can’t prepare yourself for it – you just have to live through it. The peanut is a happy baby and for the most part, a pretty easy one. She still isn’t really big on sleeping for long stretches, but everything else about her is pretty much perfect. Adjusting to new mom-hood has also been a stretch for me; let’s just say it feels like your entire brain gets rewired. Maternity leave was less fun than I expected: I had visions of a lovely summer off, spent going to the beach or other outdoor adventures with my sweet baby. Instead, it was HOT and this baby did NOT like her car seat. We spent a fair amount of time on the couch at home, huddling in the air-conditioned rooms. But that was easy peasy compared to returning to work.

There are just not enough hours in the day or enough sleep to go around. The life of after work activities and projects no longer exists. Now I scramble to get ready while holding her as much as I can in the morning, rush off to work, rush home from work to connect with Mr. Right and the Peanut until bedtime while simultaneously trying to prepare, eat and clean up from dinner and get ready for the next day. Then I try and get as much sleep as I can between feedings. Talking on the phone? Reading a book? Watching a tv show? Visiting with friends? Cooking/cleaning/other projects? No longer on the schedule. I now understand and sympathize so much more with any new mom who has ever existed and said they were tired and unable to go anywhere/do anything/drink a full glass of water. Yup.

My three saving graces in all of this chaos: 1. loving friends and family 2. The Baby Café, a nursing moms group that meets just down the street and 3. the internet, where I can google anything and read way more advice about anything I could possibly want to know. What amazes me is how every single dimension of babyhood requires dissertations worth of research and preparation. Like, feeding Grace baby food. Who could ever master the ginormous array of options and opinions? The most valuable to me of all the advice I've been given so far was from a very elderly woman at the drug store who stopped to admire the Peanut. "Just enjoy every moment. It goes so fast." Her wistful smile still catches at my heart; that will be me if I'm lucky in 40 years when the Peanut is grown and has her own peanuts to raise.

Ultimately, I’ve learned that most important lesson: just give up trying to master it and blunder through. Oh and, “Let it go. This too shall pass.” Grateful, amazed, and freaked out pretty much is my continual state. So, happy new year indeed. If I don't return your phone call, hang in there. I'll call you back in 2012.

Yes, we had a lovely holiday, thanks.

We had our first Christmas with the munchkin. She even had her first plane ride to Pittsburgh and did very nicely, conking out on my lap almost immediately both coming and going. She received lots of great presents and really was only interested in eating wrapping paper.

Now the holiday is over and we're home together on a work day because she's got a little fever and cough. We're listening to silly kid songs and trying not to get cabin fever and eat all the leftover holiday cookies in one day.

Happy new year everyone! Can't believe she's seven months old tomorrow.

Out of Sequence But Still Cute 5 Month Old Video

Apologies for the shaky cam as I tried to hold onto her while filming.

Six Months Is A Big Deal

My sister reminded me to post the latest in my monthly progression photos so there it is.

Here are a couple of outtakes from that photo session which show how much more active she is. Poor Mr. Duck. She sits up all by herself and plays with her toys for long periods of time (well, long enough for me to drink an entire glass of water sometimes!) She loves her toys, especially Mr. Piggy and Sophie the French Giraffe, the weirdly hip squeaky toy. It is fascinating for me to see how she changes. I am amazed each time with the comparison and can't remember her ever being that tiny. Just those few photos on the side demonstrate how her level of activity has changed -- I was barely able to keep her on the seat in this last one.

We are having fun growing and learning together. And then there are days that aren't as fun when I'm exhausted and struggling to hold it all together. Being a working mom is every bit as hard as promised. And sometimes it is so hard I just weep and wonder when it will get easier -- wasn't that supposed to happen by now? I do love her so. And this motherhood thing truly does kick my butt every day.

Happy holidays from the house of chaos and sleep deprivation and adorable baby girl!

Sweet Potatoes!

We've added solids to the daily repetoire. She doesn't like them at home but she loves them at daycare. She's growing up, the little peanut.

Age: 4 months! (3.5 in this photo)

Size and Shape: She is still a peanut. She looks BIG to me because she was once so tiny. But when we're out and about, people constantly say, "Look at the tiny baby!"
Eat: We seem to have our nursing and pumping routine more or less in place. I have noticed that she doesn't "unlatch" as much now, probably because she wants the extra comfort and mommy time, so our sessions can go much longer than they did.
Getting Around: We haven't had as much carseat problems, but we haven't taken her in the car quite as much as we were. So we shall see. I think she is happy to not have to spend much time in the car -- one of the benefits of daycare is that I'm not dragging her with me all over creation anymore. We love our variety of carriers! Still love the bjorn and baby hawks best.
New People: There are new babies at the daycare and we're told she is very friendly and smiley with all of them. She continues to be a friendly little soul with everyone she meets, giving smiles and patient with being passed around from person to person.
Best moment this week: She looked up at me while nursing and smiled and laughed, which made me cry it was so sweet. Probably very confusing for her to have mom laugh and cry. We also love her "dinosaur noises" where she shouts "Aaah!" in this growly voice over and over. It was also wonderful to get to skype with my mom and dad and see my mom's big smile when getting to look at her granddaughter. Oh and I got to go to yoga last night for the first time since … probably 6 months pregnant! It was AWESOME. Felt so good and was such a great break.
Worst moment this week: Saying goodbye in the mornings. Mr. Right always calls to tell me how the drop-off went which makes me really happy.

What I miss: I am wishing I had captured more of her "newborn" moments by video or snapshot. She is much more of a "baby" now than a newborn.
What I am looking forward to: She has become so communicative in her dinosaur voice -- makes me realize how fun she'll be when we can actually talk!
Weekly Wisdom: Going to yoga reminded me how much taking care of myself helps me be a better mom.

Summmer Cooking in Review

And now a break from baby blogging:

Despite a busy and HOT summer, Mr. Right and I managed to do some cooking. Some of these meals were real accomplishments, worthy of a post here in the blog. A lot of them were driven by Mr. Right's food passions. Here goes:

Baked beans -- Mr Right brought home a recipe he found on the internet to make the beans. Curious, I scanned it and was annoyed that the recipe for homemade baked beans involved TWO CANS OF FACTORY MADE BAKED BEANS. WHAT??? We dug up another recipe to use instead, and found the secret to making really good beans is to accidentally bake them for three hours longer than the recipe says.

For father's day, the kids and I gave Mr. Right a bbq smoker. Mr. Right made ribs and tenderloin on his first try. In keeping with Mr. Right's generous personality, when the recipe called for a few pieces of wood to put in the smoker for flavor, he used 3 different entire packages of wood. So the meat was definitely smoky, but very tasty.

Beer can chicken -- This was fun for Mr. Right to try. He even bought a little contraption that keeps the whole thing upright. As always, beer can chicken is super yummy. And amusing to discuss.

Fried Chicken -- During a hard week at work for Mr. Right, I emailed him during his workday, "Want to make friend chicken for the first time tonight?" And you know you have a husband who likes to cook when he is just as excited to make it as he is to eat it. Our first try was pretty successful as we followed the recipe to the letter. Second try was less successful as we were being more experimental, and we didn't let the oil get hot enough. But both times it was very fun and very delicious. Next time we do this, we're going to brine the chicken in buttermilk and salt. And use the crisco and not the cooking oil..

Pasta -- I insisted that we do this over the summer as we have been talking about making pasta at home for years now. And you read about how incredibly easy it is. All of this was true. The recipe we followed was much more extravagant than is really necessary as it used a DOZEN eggs, but as I mentioned above, Mr. Right is of a generous nature and wanted to try the fancy recipe. The noodles were delicious, and it was fun to make.

Canned pickles -- I can't claim I made these but rather I learned at the feet of a master: my amazing mother-in-law. She showed me how to make bread and butter pickles using cucumbers grown in her own backyard. And did I mention she did it all with her arm in a sling from a broken elbow? She is incredible. And these are some good pickles, spicy and sweet, and they are so beautiful in their jars.

Ice cream with lumps -- I've made ice cream before (and blogged about it here), but this was my first time using the Ben & Jerry's cookbook as well as trying to use flavorings. We made a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough flavor and it came out great. My only caveat is that it is a lot more work making this than regular ice cream, as you are basically making ice cream AND a recipe for cookies at the same time. But it thrilled my stepdaughter to get to make it, and she helped so it wasn't too much work.

And after all these lovely gourmet moments, we also have the evenings like last Monday, where you mix a can of creamed soup with pasta and chicken and serve. I made it for Mr. Right, and he is the happiest man in the world because he loves that type of thing just as well as the gourmet treats. All good.

the Most Beautiful Sound in the World

Just time to post this!

So lovely.

Is using a template cheating?

Some people who are regular baby bloggers do this weekly update. I thought I'd have fun filling it out.

Age: 14 weeks today! 3 month photo here! Gracie is good friends with her duck; they are about the same size now.

Size: Pretty much all 0-3 size clothes. 12 pounds according to the Baby Cafe scale. Her size 1 diapers are getting snug. She definitely is no longer newborn size. Sigh.

Sleep: She's a good sleeper and has been since the beginning! She wakes up to eat and then immediately falls back asleep. I know we are incredibly lucky, so just by writing this I may be dooming myself to her deciding to be awake after eating. Knocking on wood furiously!

New activity: She has officially found her thumb so the fingers are always in her mouth, even when she's trying to eat, which can be a little awkward.

New People: She is making lots of friends at daycare. They say she is a snugglebug, which is so endearing. She is also trying to make friends with her squeaky giraffe, so I guess she isn't picky.

Weekly Wisdom: It's only week two back to work, so our routines are still developing. I need to be patient!

End of the Summer

(photo credits to my very talented sister who won't answer me when I ask her why she doesn't do professional photography. Hi sis!). By the way: if anyone was wondering if the Peanut ever figured out how to suck her thumb, she HAS! But it is pretty funny that when she sticks it in her mouth it obviously is too little for her tastes so she just crams her whole hand in there.

Ah the melancholy last days of summer ... and maternity leave. I am the first to remind people that we technically have summer until Sept 21 but no one really thinks of September as summer. I went for a swim today at Walden Pond AND it was over 90 degrees, but nope, doesn't count as summer. But it was all the more special to have that swim because it will likely be my last this year. And that my friend Ann was there to hold the Peanut so I could go for a quick swim (and we had such a long visit which was wonderful). It felt SO good to be in the cool, clear water. When I take those first few strokes underwater my arms always feel so free -- they do a lot of holding these days so it is such freedom to move them through the water.

And with September comes the return to work next Tuesday, day after Labor Day, along with the last of the school kids and even the college students who have this one last weekend of freedom. We all head back together, which translates to one nasty commute coming up for me that morning.

Along with the fact I'll likely be sobbing most of the drive in. In the column of "you can't possibly know what's it like until you've gone through it" goes "Surviving Leaving Your Child with Strangers and Returning to Work." I've already had some pretty fun breakdown moments about it, which I did not anticipate so early. But I now read in my book, "Nursing Mother, Working Mother," these next two weeks are not unlike the first two weeks after the baby gets born. Nothing gets done, and both you and baby are just a big wet mess. Actually, I am sure the Peanut will be fine. I'm equally certain that I will not, so I am clearing the schedule for nothing but going to work, picking up baby at end of day, sitting on couch nursing baby, and then going to bed for the next few weeks. Pure survival mode. Then, I am hoping to come out the other side (say in October or hopefully, please God, before November), feeling like life is manageable again. Or at least able to actually socialize occasionally and prepare a meal that includes vegetables other than tomato sauce. But I am trying to learn to cut myself some slack. So, slacking it will be. I apologize in advance if I am not returning calls or emails or even making sense if I am managing a call or email.

But living in the moment, the Peanut is sleeping on my chest as I type this. I normally would try and put her down in her crib but I want her next to me for these last precious moments of maternity leave. Enjoy your last lingering days of summer, my friends.

2.5 month update

Here is a picture of our dear girl at 1 month and then 2 months with floppy sun hat and big grin. Yay!

I go to a really great nursing moms group and whenever I look at the brand new infants I get all melty remembering how she was just a little while ago, even though now it seems like ages and ages.

Baby is growing, smiling and starting to coo and has recently found her hands. She stares at them and wrings them and occasionally bops herself in the head as she tries to get them in her mouth. She is pretty good at almost getting her thumb in there. I am looking forward to her first laugh -- we have come close many times and she has done it in her sleep but not yet awake!

She is sleeping right now which is why I can type with two hands. We are starting to hit our stride, of course now that I have hit my stride it is time to go back to work. Sigh. I don't mind the working part, but I mind terribly the separation part. At the mom's group the leader said there are some places that will let you take your infant to work and it actually can be a really positive thing in a workplace. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Ooop she's waking up now...