I Am So Tired

When you are really tired, the world looks a lot different. Certain pleasures that we take for granted, like closing your eyes for a few moments, suddenly become overwhelmingly blissful. Ah, eye closing. Ahhhhhh. Putting your head down on your desk feels so good too. Much better than it normally does. And certain tasks, like spelling or driving or complete sentences become so ... what was I saying?

I attended my first doula birth Tuesday night. And it was all night. I was beeped at 11 PM, just after I put on my jammies, brushed my teeth, crawled into bed, and entered dreamland and was about to embark on a little trip with my husband (who doesn't know it yet), Mark Ruffalo. So rudely interrupted by this odd beeping noise. Holey moley! It was the call. So I headed on into the hospital, heart a-pounding. Twelve hours later, I packed up to go home, having seen one of the most profound and beautiful and freaky moments that humans can experience. I saw a baby emerge from his mother's womb, silent and gray, then turn his head, open his bluest of blue eyes, and start to howl. What can you say after that? Nothing at all.

So yes, the doula world just became that much more real. And yesterday I was at it again, until this morning at 11 AM, this time a baby girl. I plan on doing a little holiday celebrating with friends tonight, but mostly the agenda for the evening involves a bed and some serious z.